You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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