After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
