It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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