he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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