My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
