I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
