i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need a beard to bite.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
