dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
