i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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