i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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