Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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