Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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