apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
