I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
