Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
