i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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