did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
