I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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