my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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