He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
