I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
