i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
