watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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