Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She even gives head with a lisp.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
