Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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