I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
