Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Operation Purity has been aborted
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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