I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
