There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
