I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
