The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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