I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize