do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
