On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
