I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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