i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
