So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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