She is in my trunk
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
