Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
