I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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