just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
