We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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