Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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