So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
