He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
