your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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