I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
