It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
