K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
