That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
