also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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