2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
