just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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