i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
