OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
