he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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