hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
